I have no available time; but I make time. Time at the beach, time together, time for play and exploration. And it is so hard sometimes, and so worthwhile. I have to keep reminding myself that the people my children will become is starting NOW – especially now. As many of you know, sometimes with little ones you feel like collapsing in a heap.
I find myself thinking of others who have gone before me –people with double or triple the amount of children, children with major medical problems (although GERD can certainly affect your life!), concentration camp survivors…
Sometimes the best you can do is to choose to pay attention instead of escaping…but sometimes you need to carve out that small escape to decompress and process all that is filling your life. Sometimes life needs a little pruning, less chaos, more simplicity. How do you do that? I’m going to find out or die trying.
Most of all I am praying for patience as I try to gracefully get through this time pulling in as much good food, hugs and kisses, and smiles as I can. This thing called motherhood (fatherhood)? It’s hard. Like Pull your hair out while two babies scream in dissonance in the car for twenty minutes hard. Like you feel yourself twitching when the baby wakes up for the 15th time…or cannot be put down, or on your back or anywhere that would facilitate you using your hands to make lunch. Its just hard. But if you accept it, get help, eat well and breathe deeply, just maybe you’ll make it through.
I have to hold myself back from whinging too much, a blog is cathartic in some ways but I’d rather uplift others. So look at the pictures and smile. Capture some beauty in your life amidst chaos and strife.