Faith

This is our financial corner right now. The collages you see are our “vision board”…the vision of where we are going, our visual roadmap. Yes, I got that from “the secret” but I will tell you each time we have been through major changes it has been such a great focusing tool, and much of the images have “come true”, often in unexpected ways.

My faith has been tested lately as we make this decision to move our family over 3,000 km’s across the country. Finding midwives who are “comfortable” with VBAC’s, let alone a home vbac, has been incredibly challenging and discouraging in our new home. Ultimately, we will need to travel and temporarily move at the end of my pregnancy in order to receive the care we are looking for. There have been many ups and downs as I get a lead and then am disappointed or even denied care because I am too much of a “risk.” For more on a perspective about the “true” risks of vbac, see this article.

I have always been a “planner” , trying to stay one step ahead of life, trying to mastermind things…but as I type I listen to a Hayhouse radio program about detatching and embracing uncertainty…this has certainly been the biggest test of my pregnancy so far…and the second major time in a few months of carrying this child that I have had to have faith.

What is faith? An inherent trust that even though you have no idea how, things will be ok, the universe is on your side, you will be able to handle what comes. It’s a big leap for me, especially given I have so recently and frequently felt “I can’t handle this” since my labour began 16 months ago. I think I am finally learning this lesson, though. Interestingly, my probable new midwife found ME! Talk about unexpected ways of things coming to you J and it’s in an area where we have family friends. Even if it doesn’t work out, I am taking a deep breath, and having faith that something else will.

Thank you so much to you key angels who have been holding me up, and to my family for the encouragement and support. I think I am finally learning to receive the support that’s out there for me. One way or another, this baby will be born into a loving community.

~Laura

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